Schematic overview: capability

StanceTotal responsibilityVictim-thinkLight-heartedness
SummaryWe each create our own reality and are responsible for everything that happens in itIt’s not my fault and I am too weak to deal with itPlayfully co-create reality in collaboration with each other and the world
What it deniesContingency, limitsResponsibility, capability, freedom
What it fixatesResponsibilityOverwhelming power of circumstances
The sales pitchPerfect circumstances can be achieved with sufficient effortYou are oppressed and therefore blameless
Emotional appealFantasy of control over futureNo need to make any effortNo need for self-criticism or for anxiety
Pattern of thinkingAggressive, paranoidFearful, depressed, emotionally manipulativeEffortless accomplishment
Likely next stancesSpecialness, true self, missionOrdinariness, materialismNobility, ethical responsiveness
AccomplishmentKing of the UniverseHave all needs met by exploiting others’ pityEffortless creativity
How it causes sufferingHypervigilance; can’t meet infinite requirements with finite capacityResentment, depression, neglect of opportunities
Obstacles to maintaining the stanceObviousness of limitsObviousness of opportunitiesHard to let go of need to be reassured about outcomes
Antidotes; counter-thoughtsLetting go of fantasies of accomplishment; willingness to failGratitude; letting go of payoffs; walking away; practical action
Intelligent aspectRecognition of possibilityRecognition of limits
Positive appropriation after resolutionExperience depends more on our own perception & action than is usually thoughtBecause we have finite capabilities, we can cut ourselves some slack