"Total Responsibility is a delusion" (unfinished page) What an intriguing placeholder! If this is indeed a delusion, then I may be under some part or else the whole of it. I suspect choosing to strive for an unmeetable ideal (in this case striving to take on responsibility for my - and sometimes even our - reality beyond what is materially within my grasp) can create a trade off useful for me and others around me in the long run. I purchase an easier time disidentifying from less useful types of shame after failure by paying the price of an increased propsenity for arrogance. Time will tell how wise this is. This is built on a long string of other views too, some particular to my context, some not. My suspicion is certainly contributing to seemingly excessive analysis paralysis in the context of career decisions right now… which can be painful, but likely par for the course. Your writing suggests that you are extremely capable of seeing the many sides of an issue and peacebrokering among them. Nonetheless, I’d like to voice my desire to play red team / blue team (emphasize some lens) with you during your further thinking on this topic before write-up if you’re interested in that. If not, then I’ll just look forward to learning more here!