Comments on “Total responsibility”

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"Total Responsibility is a delusion" (unfinished page)

Yuli Jadov 2020-03-08

What an intriguing placeholder! If this is indeed a delusion, then I may be under some part or else the whole of it.

I suspect choosing to strive for an unmeetable ideal (in this case striving to take on responsibility for my - and sometimes even our - reality beyond what is materially within my grasp) can create a trade off useful for me and others around me in the long run. I purchase an easier time disidentifying from less useful types of shame after failure by paying the price of an increased propsenity for arrogance. Time will tell how wise this is. This is built on a long string of other views too, some particular to my context, some not. My suspicion is certainly contributing to seemingly excessive analysis paralysis in the context of career decisions right now… which can be painful, but likely par for the course.

Your writing suggests that you are extremely capable of seeing the many sides of an issue and peacebrokering among them. Nonetheless, I’d like to voice my desire to play red team / blue team (emphasize some lens) with you during your further thinking on this topic before write-up if you’re interested in that. If not, then I’ll just look forward to learning more here!

Making total responsibility work

James 2020-03-11

Yuli (if I may),

Your comment shows an awareness of the downsides of your approach. I’d suggest that your personal approach to responsibility is more nuanced than you perhaps realize. To paraphrase something David has said elsewhere on this site, total responsibility works for you because you’re making it work.

If I might ask, did you previously tend to take no responsibility for your life? If you’re naturally inclined to one mistake, consciously making the opposite is sometimes a good strategy.

James -

Yuli Jadov 2020-04-12

James -

Yep, total responsibility working for me because I put in conscious effort to moderate it sounds right to me. You’re also right that I have some history of the opposite tendency. I learn better in general when I’m able to completely flip positions and poke and prod both (or many) extreme answers to some question.

Anywho - on reflection my commenting here was more of an excuse to say hello than a valuable contribution - so, off to the ether I return!

Yuli,

James 2020-04-13

Yuli,

I’m glad to hear from you again! As I mentioned in a comment in another thread, reflecting on your situation has suggested to me that for most people, making one of the stances work is probably a more important and practical task than ascending to the complete stance.

So as long as what your doing is working for you, my advice is to keep doing it!

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